So how do we begin to action these actions we are not actioning?
Along the way as I have studied, applied the learnings, received coaching, and reflected on my many and various clients’ journeys, I have picked up a few things that have helped me:
- When we are trying to behave differently or introduce new ways of being, it can be uncomfortable, feel really strange, and be plain difficult. And we don’t let ourselves stay in the discomfort long enough to get past it.
- Our habits are strong. We know that most are created unconsciously, and not all serve us. There is a degree of security in being able to do something automatically, and it is far less taxing on the mind!
- I have used Ayurveda for over 12 years to help me create a better approach to my physical and mental well-being. Recently my practitioner used a phrase that spoke directly to my heart, causing me to make better food choices. The phrase is ‘blasphemy of the intellect’ and it’s used to describe when we know something and go against that wisdom, knowledge, or factual information. A powerful phrase and very accurate. My health coach shone a light on my tendency to delude myself and I was able to make the shifts I wanted to make, but just wasn’t doing.
If you find yourself wanting different results, and knowing what you could do to make things different, yet not knowing how to action those behaviours you are just not actioning – here are some useful tips:
- Look at the results you are getting – in those areas you want different results, look at how you are creating those unwanted results. You know that it requires a high degree of accurate self-awareness (which takes years to develop), and genuine gutsy honesty.
- Stepping into a place of courage, identify areas in your life the term ‘blasphemy of the intellect’ apply.
- Make a list of the habits that serve you, and some of those that do not. Breaking habits requires far more than mental will and determination.
- Identify and write down how you support yourself to take on new behaviours, to learn new habits. Give yourself a gentle reminder that as adults, we are used to operating at a level of mastery, otherwise known as the stage of learning called ‘unconscious competence.’ Dropping down to conscious competence is where we truly learn and become masters of our Self.
These are all the things you do with your clients, right? As a Coach you have trained yourself to pay attention to your client’s attention, to help them identify their own patterns and blind spots, supporting them to take risks and grow – but just how good are you at applying your skills to yourself? Simply said, you cannot coach yourself. If you did believe this, you and I would be out of a job (with or without COVID-19)! Looks like this is pointing to work that is best done with a professional coach. So, how coachable are you?
This is what your coach is for – to help you recognise your patterns, support you when you have an ‘a-ha!’ moment, to recognise when you engage in ‘blasphemy of the intellect’, and to make the changes you wish to make. Break the habit of being you – engage a professional Coach!
When was the last time you were coached? Extend an invitation to yourself to have some light shone upon some of your blind spots.
To truly BE a great coach, you have to be willing to be COACHED.
Beth Nurnberger, PCC, is a member of ICF Australasia. She is an Executive and multiple Brain Coach, specialising in transformative work with her clients. She trains Managers and Leaders to become workplace coaches, and is also an mBIT Coach Trainer. Beth can be reached at www.bethnurnberger.com or firstname.lastname@example.org